I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
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Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
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If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.