wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
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I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here