Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(212): View more from New York

Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.

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(845): View more from New York

alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.

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(704): View more from North Carolina

2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year

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(425): View more from Washington

If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.

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21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
Read it at the TFLN blog
(347): View more from New York

your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.

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(850): View more from Florida

If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.

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(248): View more from Michigan

We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.

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(716): View more from New York

tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"

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(856): View more from New Jersey

listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes

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