Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes