I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize