He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"