I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.