i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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