I feel like abortions should bother me more
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
