It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
