I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I FOUND THE LEGS
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
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