Three words: puerto rican gang bang
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
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