You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
