Non-Jews are for practice
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Randomize
