What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
