The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Randomize
