I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Randomize
