No awkward lesbian experiences without me
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
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we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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