Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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