guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I'm both gender and math confused
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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