I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
