um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
i now understand why vodka
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Randomize
