IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
