it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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