Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
