I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
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