If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
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