WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
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