doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Randomize
