Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I supernannyed him into submission
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
