First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize