Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
