The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
