I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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