i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
