: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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