know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
