so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
