she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
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