My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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