like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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