Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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