i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize