Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Send help, water and tortillas.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
