This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
i believe in u and ur pee
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
