I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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