dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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