time to smoke my breakfast
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
