everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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