i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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