I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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