whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
