It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
