I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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