your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I love you. Go after that dick
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