and next time when you feel me up, do it right
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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