i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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