Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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