I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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