I like to think it a success when the cops are called
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
