She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
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