i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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