Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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