i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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