He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
